blood sacrifice

August 29 2024

there are times I use blood for extra effect in my drawings, you needn't worry about the origin of the blood as this blood is my own and It's not hurting anyone else when i gather it. Some people like to hurt others for their emotional relief but I really prefer to hurt myself when it's about that. Hurting others is going to haunt your psyche after all. Hurting yourself doesn't leave that sort of emotional trauma as hurting another living being by your own doing would. As a plus I like to see the effect of my own self harm as it puts my own mental state into a physical form I can see and understand. There are negative consequences to this behavior though. So don't hurt yourself children lol.

oh also I took selfies in the dark and in the day . And i watermarked them???? Its a compulsion now i swear lol... plz

SORRY FOR BEING UGLYYYYY LOL AND MY ROOM BEING A MESSY NIGHTMARE


oozing into pages

August 14 2024

Hi, im still making weird horrible drawings. I'm too self conscious to post almost everything i draw online. Uurrghhsg It's too bad autumn has quite literally been killed by global warming. It would be nice to be able to wear long sleeve tops comfortably again. I can't fully hide in my clothes like usual. My personal favourite outfit when it's reasonably chilly is, either loose cargo pants or bootcut jeans with a small tight long sleeve top layered over a lace trim tank top and then a very cozy zip up hoodie on top. Can't wait to be bombarded with autumn pumpkin spicy evrything while it's still super humid summer out. This upcoming cold season im letting my hair grow very long to have long dangly braids again, its almost there. The reason why is that if I use the type of hair ties that is 2 baubles at the end of my braids when theyre long it's a good heavy sensation


July 9th 2024

Unusable drawings and nyc visit

I've been drawing pictures, the usual ugly crap but recently they're really not acceptable to post anywhere in my opinion.... they drawings are really reflective of my emotional state so they look disturbing, so much red swirls lol ... I miss when I drew anime people facing slightly at a 3 quarter angle with shiny anime hair lol. Speaking of drawings Ive recently visited the MoMA in new york city its nice there. The outdoor seating area is pleasant and i fed a tiny bird crumbs. Birds are so friendly in nyc


June 7 2024

graveyard visits

During the last few weeks I went and visited 2 graveyards, one within walking distance to me and one that resides one town away but is accessible by bus. Both visits were pleasant. The one I liked the most was the one closer to me. It's a very large graveyard with lots of empty grassy land for future gravestones. there are large old trees that provide lots of shade. The day I visited was very warm with lots of sunshine leaving a pleasant glow on the greenery where the sun rays touched. The large expanse of grassy area I mentioned was covered in lots of soft grass and the grass was covered in furry animal down most likely from rabbit nests, actually I'm very sure it was from the rabbit nests. The furry down from the nesting would float in the air with the sunshine making it look a very pretty sight. There were no people within the graveyard when i visited which made it very pleasant. Only small animals like chipmunks and birds were there in the graveyard. I wanted to stay and sit for a while but it was almost time for the sun to set so I cut my graveyard walk short and walked back home. I have to visit this one again soon. The next graveyard I visited that is farther away was quite smaller and less atmospheric. Although there are gravestones that date back from before the 1900s so you'd think there'd be more..... grave land?? I liked it there but I felt the presence of (living) people a lot..... cars would drive by frequently and the trees were not as old and grande. Well I got some pictures from this graveyard at least. The first one I didn't take any pictures because I felt so pleasant just being there. Anyways I wish there were more places that are peaceful and full of greenery that I could explore in peace.